Human resources [Thread for Erwin and Levi ]

[Commander Erwin Smith]

Erwin had inherited a mess.

Of course every Commander inherits the consequences of those previously in power and that there was rarely a leader who had made any notable changes. For the one hundred years of peace there had been little to zero progress but now that wall Maria had fallen he was being looked at to make a significant difference and do what no one had done in decades. Every move he made now was being scrutinized more than ever, more so than it ever was for the commanders who had lead during peacetime.

Erwin rubbed his forehead lightly as he lent an elbow on his desk. He tried to remind himself that he was not doing any less than the men before him had if anything he was doing much more. Attempts to expand beyond wall Maria had failed for 100 years, it was unrealistic to think that they would win back the wall overnight. He was quite certain that perhaps this was why there had been so few to express interest in being the unlucky 13th commander. 'Human beings have short memories' He thought as he sighed internally. 'Their emotions always stop them from seeing the bigger picture..'

Earlier on he had only noticed that the sun had set after the darkness had crept in through the windows of their temporary base within wall Sina. He had taken his one and only break then to light the lantern in his office and then went back to his endless work. After they had lost their base when the wall fell they had to take up accommodations with the Garrison and Military police which had caused quite a few tensions already. Resources were low, stress levels were high and everyone was at each others throats about who to blame. He could see why so few wanted anything to do with leading it was so much easier to point a finger and blame.

The new commander was not disheartened however, if anything it just encouraged him to work harder even if if he often forgot that his body needed rest even if his mind wanted to keep working and planning and didn't want to stop.  Human  resources after all were always the most unreliable, including  predicting when his own body would decide it needed sleep, sustenance or perhaps a badly timed cold.

As all but the lanterns that lined the hallways at measured intervals were put out and everyone had retired to their quarters, he stayed awake going through the paperwork on his desk. The fall of the wall had caused more than thousands of lives to be lost, it had also caused the majority of farmland to be lost and much of humanity who did survive to be homeless. Tomorrow evening they would be discussing with the other commanders and officials on what to do with the refugees and all the options that ensured that humanity would not crumble into civil war or poverty and starvation made him feel a certain sickness in his stomach because he knew that the choices he would have to vote on to put it lightly were... controversial and drastic.

He doubted he could sleep or eat even if he tried at this point in the evening.

[Lance Corporal Levi]

Erwin was a tireless man and during the day it was all Levi could do to leave him to his work. Although more than a valuable resource on the field there was little Levi was capable of assisting Erwin with diplomatically. It certainly wasn’t his forte. Erwin was well educated in the complexities of bureaucracy and politics and although Levi participated in strategizing meetings there was only so much he could contribute to before he was just taking up space.

Levi knew his place, and when he was and was not needed.

He became quietly obsessive when listless...

Listless, he chooses, because he hates to think of himself as useless.

He  retreats into himself, simplifying his existence in to the simplest motions of a broom across stone or the polished sweeps of a towel across leather. He spent the day performing mindless tasks, mundane activities he lost himself to. Projects easily managed… things easily controlled. He re-organized the drawers of his room and cleaned his bathroom meticulously from corner to crevice. At mid-day he ventured to the kitchen to clear the dust from the cabinets so he could alphabetize the spices. He wouldn’t say a word, but those who happened upon him knew better to disturb him. Whether it was his infamous reputation or eerily vacant expression that kept them at bay, Levi couldn’t particularly say he gave a shit.

When evening softly stole the sky black and the steady flicker of candle light became his only aid, Levi resigned himself. His shoulders ached and the knobby joints of his fingers felt stiff from over use. He bathed until he felt clean and then scrubbed his skin until it was pink and smelt like lavender.

He tried to convince himself he was above emotions as senseless as worry. It always seemed to cause more damage than actually prove useful, but that was argument condemned from the start when it came to Erwin. He was his exception. Levi changed into something casual and didn’t knock when he entered Erwin's office as if to spite him for the thought.

Levi pushes open the door without preamble because he half expects-- or more accurately hopes -- Erwin won’t be there. But of course Erwin’s there, just as surely as the light that spilled beneath the door way told him he would be. He looks as worn and tired as he man twice his age, still awake and in uniform despite the fact that the sun has already set. Erwin didn’t actually forget things like sleep but simply prioritized his work above his own physical needs. Perhaps, a reasonable sacrifice when human lives were the currency he dealt in.

Erwin possessed the commitment of a demented saint. At times Levi has questioned Erwin’s resolve - his ability to stay so forthright and dedicated. His complex philosophical values usually boiled down to simple responses like “for humanity” or Levi’s personal favorite “the greater good”. In another life he thinks maybe Erwin would deserve something more. A family, friends even.

But if anyone was capable of their job it was undoubtedly Erwin Smith.

But, there are consequences for that, just as there are consequences for everything. For Erwin’s steadfast resolve and the strict ability to sacrifice human life, his own soul gave birth to dark and hideous things, inhuman things. He’s not alone in this, and perhaps that’s his only saving grace. Levi is just as lost.

Levi watches Erwin release a hard breath as he pours himself onto the small couch, slinging his arm across the back and crossing his legs. Making himself comfortable without waiting for Erwin’s polite request that would tell him to do so anyways. They’re past the formalities of introduction when they’re in each other’s private company.

Levi watches him. He sees the fall of Maria etched into the handsome features of his face, but they are restless men and there is always something to be found within Erwin’s expression that isn’t peace. Their lives are a series of endlessly fluctuating lows marked by mass graves. Their victories aren’t that different from their defeats. The loss of life only becomes slightly more justifiable in one case, but never enough to dismantle guilt.

“You look like shit.” He says flatly. To anyone else Levi would appear almost bored, but Erwin knows him well enough to catch the intimate ticks in his expression that say otherwise. Erwin has seen him in literally every humor except sincere happiness. Catching things like subtle concern weren’t much of a stretch for him.

Levi doesn’t waste his time asking a question he already knows the answer to. He hasn’t eaten so he stands and disappears down the hall to returns with a plate of food and a bottle of wine. Bread , a few slices of cheese and some grapes, nothing too heavy. “You’re no use to anyone if you work yourself into a fucking hole.” He masks his concern with annoyance, which really wasn’t that hard since he was actually rather annoyed. He forcefully pushed the plate on top of Erwin’s paperwork. “Don’t make me your god damn babysitter...” He mumbles and it’s probably the nicest thing Levi’s said in a while.

He leans against the side of Erwin’s desk with a slant of his hips, pouring him a glass of red wine he soon extends expectantly between deceptively strong fingers. “Hope you weren’t expecting a bouquet and a hot date. Seems all your promotion got you was a headache. Unfortunate.” He raises his own glass to his lips, looking away as takes a slow sip.

[Commander Erwin Smith]

The commander did not have to even glance up to know who was opening his door without knocking. There were very few people who were that comfortable around the Commander and honestly he found that in itself to be almost a compliment rather then a gesture of disrespect. Levi of course was not the only person to ever stumble on Erwin still doing his work at inappropriate times at night but few would question him besides perhaps asking if he would like a coffee.

As Levi took his usual seat on the coach in his office, Erwin could almost feel the others glance on him and he knew the other was not impressed that he was still doing work. It must be late for the other to have to come and find him like this and he felt that odd sense of sheepish guilt that only Levi seemed to be able to make him feel even if that did not show on his face. He glanced up at Levi as he spoke and the guilt he felt seemed justified now as he could tell the other was angrily concerned about him. It was strange to think that someone could just enter his universe and just change the way the planets spin after they had steadily spun the same way for so long. To anyone on the outside that may sound like any old corny statement of love but that was not what that meant to Erwin at all. He meant that Levi coming into his existence had changed almost every method that he thought up on how he was going to go about saving humanity.

Look like shit huh? His mind instantly joked with him that it must mean that he looks like a person that does not want to come out considering how often Levi made jokes about the commander being constipated. But he did not voice his thoughts, he kept his straight expression as the other stood up and moved out of the room without a word.

Erwin found that when Levi had recently showered and was placed in a small enough room the lingering smell of Lavender would remain where he had been. He was not quite sure if he liked the smell of Levi because he smelt of lavender or if he liked the smell of lavender because it smelt like Levi but either way he found the smell to be quite relaxing and soothing.

"I suppose the benefits of working in a hole would mean I could not be easily disturbed." He smiled to himself as the other pressed the food on to his paperwork. "Don't worry, I have found your company eases some of that headache, but that may just be your body wash since Lavender is quite good for headaches and migraines." He put his pen down and popped a grape into his mouth and ate it slowly, the taste of food making his stomach remind him that he was indeed hungry with a slight grumble. "With the smell of Lavender, dinner and company I will begrudgingly accept this as my 'bouquet and a hot date' instead then."

He toasted in return to the other and took a sip of the glass of wine the other had poured for him."Speaking of promotions, now that you need to choose your own squad you will be working more independently than you have been in the past, however I trust you will make wise choices when it comes to your squad." Erwin remembered when he picked his own squad and a wave of nostalgic crept up on him quietly. It would be interesting to see how the other would handle his own rise in the ranks.