Hold your Breath [Ro and Bul]

[Mihai Ionescu]

It had been three years since Mihai had joined the military training. Three years of trying hard, getting beaten and bruised, three years of late night practices, and skipping meals to study, all of it for the final trial, the one that would say whether he was good for the Military Police, or not. Doomed. The light haired boy swallowed hard as he approached the hall where the results would be posted.

In retrospect, the Romanian wasn’t a terrible soldier. Few people in the legion could maneuver as sharply as him, nor run as fast, or spot a hiding place as well as he could. Not half bad skills in a world full of man eating beasts, even if the boy wasn’t particularly muscular. What he lacked in strength, he made up with speed.

So maybe, and just maybe, things would turn out fine, and both Mihai and his best friend would make it into Sina. The odds were good, right? Even so, butterflies were flying in his stomach, and the blond felt he could hear every little sound around him, as he walked. There were footsteps, fabrics brushing on people’s clothing, and even some distant chattering from the trainees - the ones who hadn’t expected much more than joining the Garrison, who didn’t care for results.

He felt a shiver run down his spine and took a deep breath as he entered the hall. It’s not the end of the world, boy. Who knows, you could make it. Both of you could.

He smiled weakly, and whispered to himself. “Yeah. I know.”

[Marko Iliev]

There were no celebrations, just yet. No one forcing their way to the front to get a first glimpse of the top ten; no one was absolutely sure they'd made it. Hell, even Marko wasn't entirely sure himself. He'd weaved past a few other trainees, not exactly shoving his way through but getting past regardless – he both did and didn't want to see the list now when, earlier that day and the night before, he'd wanted nothing more.

Marko Iliev. Mentally and physically capable. Yet to be phased by many of the obstacles thrown at him, but is somewhat lacking in agility without the aid of 3DMG. Would potentially prove useful in mounted operations.

He didn't know how true that was, exactly. He acted unphased, but the instructor cutting the cord of his gear to catch him off-guard during training wasn't exactly the same as the gear potentially snapping or coming loose when he'd be near to a titan's jaws. Was that where he'd go, then, if he didn't make the top ten? Miles and miles of empty land lay beyond the walls and if his agility without the aid of 3DMG was only decent, he could easily be one of the first to die, no matter how physically strong or mentally fortified he happened to be.

And then there was Mihai to consider... What if only one of them had made it? Where would the other go? Perhaps neither of them would make it... Ah, there he was, internally doubting himself again.

Marko nodded his head, pressing forwards and finally managing to get close enough to the front. Though he was still only looking over the shoulders of a couple of other trainees, the list was in plain sight regardless. Well... There was no going back now. All he could do was read.

[Mihai Ionescu]

Upon approaching the board, Mihai quickly spotted Marko’s head against the rest. When he approached his fiend, the Romanian did the best he could to smile. It was a pathetic attempt, he didn’t feel like smiling at all, being so close to finding out their fate. “Hey. ” He called out, before the other could spot his name in the board. “Guess we’re just in time.”

He sighed, heavily. Marko’s company did make him feel more at ease, like he could take on the world again. “Can we read together?” Without waiting for an answer, and without even thinking, Mihai reached out for his friend’s hand and laced their fingers together.

Mihai hesitated before forcing himself to stare at the paper. There were a few names, naturally, listed above the line that separated the masses from the trainees eligible for the Military Police. He spotted it quickly enough. Iliev, Marko.

The smile that sprouted on his lips was unavoidable; it was great news! But in the fraction of a second that followed, when Mihai’s eyes kept on reading the names and could not spot Ionescu above the line, his expression started fading, along with the color on his face. Without even realizing, his grip on Marko’s hand became tighter and tighter, and all the Romanian could do was desperately re-read the list.

No matter how many times he read, he knew wasn’t a mistake. It was real, and he hadn’t made it. “Marko, I...” What could he even say? He had to be strong, but opening his mouth would make him cry.

[Marko Iliev]

For a few moments, just before he'd started to read, Mihai had appeared by his side. He gave his friend a meek smile; something that was unlike him, but it was all he could really manage to do right now. Shaking his head lightly, he gave the other's hand a small squeeze. “Sure.” That said, he steadily returned his attention to the paper on the wall.

The first name – top of the class – was irrelevant, as was the second, and the third and fourth, but once he'd scrolled past those... There it was. Iliev, Marko. Relief washed over him. Fifth overall? For someone so lacking in agility unaided by 3DMG? He must have excelled elsewhere to have gotten that spot, perhaps in the theory classes too, but right at that moment in time, exactly how didn't really matter... He was there, he'd made it. He could live within Wall Sina, and serve the King... That was all he'd ever wanted, for both him and Mihai...

...But... Mihai...? His hand was tightening around Marko's, and it soon became clear, the further down the list he went, exactly why.

“Mihai...” He muttered, swallowing a bit. He bit his lips together, frowning... He couldn't quite understand how he himself had passed and Mihai hadn't, but, again, the reason was irrelevant... What mattered was that they hadn't both passed. He lowered his head a bit. “I'm sorry.” They could both re-read over and over all they wanted, but the simple fact is, Mihai's name wasn't there... Marko wanted to deny it, to pass it off as a mistake, but all he could think about now was the two of them dragging their asses to the Garrison and staying put there for the rest of their service. All they'd wanted, all this time... It felt like shit to know their aspirations had been crushed so easily.

[Mihai Ionescu]

It was all over. It really was, and it didn’t matter how many times Mihai read the list again, he knew the names on it wouldn’t change. For a moment, after he whispered his apology to Marko, the world felt silent, and all Mihai could do was stand in front of the paper, staring in disbelief. “I failed....” Fighting the tears got harder and harder.

Don’t lose it right here, Mihai. Of course, they were still standing in the middle of a massive crowd of trainees. “Hm… Could we go somewhere else?”. His voice was hoarse, and his feet were way too heavy as he tried to drag Marko away from the room.

The first sob came together with the realization that he was actually terrified. Not because not making it into Sina, per se, or from the fact that he’d have to pick the Garrison or the Scouting, but that he would have to part from Marko. Without the brunette by his side, Mihai wasn’t all too sure what would be left of himself. The blond cried quietly as they walked, and he tried his best to keep his face down to avoid his friend’s gaze.

He wasn’t sure how long he dragged Marko around, either. At some point he just noticed they were outside, fairly hidden from the general view. It was when he stopped to wipe his face. “I really messed up, didn’t I? I should’ve--” Mihai tried to continue, but the words got caught up in his throat. He didn’t realize he was still clinging to Marko’s hand.